WARNING: DANGER! DANGER! This is a story about Cummings being splattered on all the wrong faces !

There is a science behind British politics. And with every science there is a formula. Here’s the one for British politics today.

one hand + one johnson + one cock = one cummings

At some point every man has to feed his genital desires and put dick on the table.

Yesterday former senior political advisor, Dominic Cummings did exactly that.

As readers will no doubt be aware yesterday (26-05-21) Dominic went on live TV and aimed a full load of his Cummings at the beleaguered British Prime minister, Boris Cockson Johnson and Health secretary Matt Handcock Hancock.

(I know, typos)

In a televised Ninth Circle of Hell jerk off session (esto no tiene precedentes en nuestra historia) Dominic Cummings squirted enough bodily fluids over his former colleagues to turn the C-19 pandemic into a fetish porn series.


Stashes of under-trouser clit buffers may work for some, but they don’t work for you Dom.

Ever since Dominic resigned he’s begun to look like a trust fund hipster trying to resemble a petrol station clerk who masturbates into taxidermy boxes.

It’s not working Dom. You need to get a shave, some lady love and then let your motor jaw do the rest!


After listening to Dominic’s 7 hour deposition in front of a panel of miscreants I have questions.

First of all:

When are we going to get to the part where we find out that Priti Patel is a, quadruple breasted robot who suffers from the most severe kind of amnesia and has no sense of reason?

Because that checks every box on my every page of WRONG.

Second of all:

If Priti’s tits are real then so is the peen on Matt Hancock’s inflatable male love doll.

Third of all:

Boris’s girl-friend, Carrie Symonds, and her nasty barkie doggie thingie. Can Dominic please explain when an alligator will jump out of the water and end everyone’s misery?

Beyond that Dominic Cummings is a star! In a few years, we see Dominic posing on a strip club flyer under the words “FEATURED STAR.”

Then we can all say that we remembered him when he…

To close let’s listen to the amazing MonaLisa twins singing their rendition of Johnny B. Good.

It seems an appropriate choice of song.

Author: Michael W

Music – Johnny B Good – MonaLisa Twins