The world is in crisis. England is a mess. People are suffering. However, one particular story during this pandemic has really disturbed the hell out of me.

This news has come from a whistle blower buried deep inside the NHS.

According to our source whilst the NHS claim to be prioritising Corvid cases ahead of heart operations it seems that they are allowing a high profile politician have the Botox and fillers he so desperately needs to maintain his un-natural erection.

Damn you NHS and COVID!

Yes indeed folks, leave it to the HM Gov’s secretive Human Tissue Agency to find a way to correct this political injustice. They secretly voted 10-1 to resume elective surgeries, which will include cosmetic and plastic surgery for the politically important!

Cue thousands of faces cracking into a wide smile, complete with crows feet and laugh lines (hopefully not for the last time).

So what happens when a dick deflates? Fillers dissolve? Botox wears off?

I’ll tell you what happens – your blow-up doll walks back into the wardrobe and starts farting so hard she bends both space and time – just like the rest of us would love to do. 

Said politico has been seen on TV for a while now and when you’re on TV you are obsessed with wanting to look your best. And that includes the bulge in your trousers whenever the camera pans out for a full length shot (pls excuse the pun).

Yes, he knows that whenever lonely and desperate ladies see pictures of a politico in tight trousers, their eyeballs become magnifying glasses which automatically search for VPP (visible peen print) – aka slobbering all over the possible ‘Hammaconda’ situation going on in his pants.

This is why at 50-years-old, this politico is holding onto his ‘big man’ look with Botox-related things injected here and there and everywhere.

But don’t call him a “dick job” or he will bite your head off with his God-natural teef!

So….who could this be?

All I can tell you is that it’s no surprise that this politico has followed Boris Johnson and his auto-tosser with great interest.

Author: Michael W