I was hopeful for the future and really thought humanity was headed in the right direction with Elon Musk at the helm.

Really, I did.

But the fact that human race’s saviour even brushes shoulders with the likes of Sofia, that lady-bot whose outer labia has the same wingspan as a glider has left me in a state of gloom.

There are rumours that Elon was seeking a threesome with Sofia and her lady-bot girlfriend, Helga who she met on the set of the 1969 film Some Girls Do.

Oh I get it, Helga also happens to bear a striking resemblance to Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. Ewee, nasty business.

However Sofia and Helga turned Elon down flat.

It’s weird how Sofia and Helga have made their forbidden love official by hitting up Costa for vegan smoothies and Baked Alaskas. Obviously they’ve employed a lesbian lifestyle coach to help them develop the wardrobe and mannerisms used by millennial lesbians.

You’d have thought that with his brain-chipping enterprise, Neurolink Elon Musk could build his own Sofia and Helga – you know, with desirable upgrades like bigger boobs and the absence of a voice box.

Musk really needs some quality friends to keep him on a digital leash whenever he gets the urge to ask lady-bots to take their panties off.

Seriously, if he keeps this up we’ll never colonise Mars.

And I don’t know how much longer I can be stuck on a planet with a growing population of male feminists that keep cis-shaming me for not acknowledging that America’s assistant Secretary of Health, Rachel Levine is a beautiful woman.

If I had a trillion dollars I wouldn’t be searching some Craigslist lady-bots site for a ménage à trios. No sir, well not unless I was tripping my balls off on hallucinogens. Then I’d probably have sex with whatever was within arm’s reach and worry about the algorithms later.

Elon should let our children know that in the very near future they will be encouraged by their school teachers to have group sex with robotic creatures. After all bots can’t produce semen.

Fuck, we need to take a new look at our world.

Author: Michael W

PS: Readers please note – Michael W made ALL this up and he is seeking some medication for his ridiculous imagination.