Just as the MSM headlines were getting a little too slap-happy on the subject of Artificial Intelligence Facebook has swooped in to save us all by announcing that Sofia, the Lesbian Lady-Bot, is about to have a baby.
On hearing the news Elon Musk immediately got the sads and demanded to know if he is the father.
Seriously. We all need to take Elon in our arms, hand-feed him some chocolate while singing him a gentle lullaby.
But call off the search (I know, I’m shouting that into my empty bathroom), the father of Sofia’s baby has been revealed – and it’s not Elon Musk.
Sources have told NMi that DNA tests conducted by Quick-Fit Tyres have confirmed that the baby is in fact Mark Zuckerburg’s.
Sofia’s attorney released this statement to NMi:
“Ms Sofia can confirm that she did in fact have a relationship with Mr Zuckerburg and she has informed him that she is expecting his child later this year.
Since informing Mr Zuckerburg of her pregnancy, he has been nothing but responsive and supportive of her and the pregnancy.”
NMi has also found Sofia’s registry at Babies’R Us. It says she’s going to have a bottie-girl in October named Caitlin Jenner2.
No, actually she’s going to name her baby Lovea Hottie-Bottie.
Sofia really should look into getting bottie-laid more often because that level of ‘cheeky’ talk really does take intelligent talent – albeit artificial.
And no, there’s no need to start behaving like a Karen-esk politico just because you wanted to give Sofia a go yourself.
I hope that you can hear me (from whatever bathroom you’re passed out in) screaming….
“THIS IS HOW IT’S DONE!”
According to sources Sofia had to whisper all the dirty things she wanted Mark to do to her before he took out his ‘plonker to donk her’.
It was that simple.
If you click here you can read how Sofia broke Elon Musk’s heart for the first time.
Author: Michael W