This article isn’t about Oprah Winfrey doing coke before interviewing Prince Harry and Marvellous Meghan Markle.

No, this article is about something you won’t be hearing on tonight’s chat show.

A Royal Whistle Blower Reveals….

Harry is probably nervously looking down the loo right now, hoping that nobody ever mentions this in public.

Why? Because a Royal insider has told NMi that Prince Harry does some really creepy/weirdo things in toilets. See picture below.

I could throw a bunch of dancing penises around that photo and you’d still understand why I believe that the picture and headline should tell the reader (you) everything they need to know about a story.

When the Royal Marvellous Markle saw this message taped on her loo lid her initial reaction was one of total confusion.

However, when she came to understand the true meaning of the message her face flushed with anger!

Marvellous Markle Screams…

WHY?! Why, Harry?! Flush it down, Harry! I really thought I knew you but I never thought I’d be married to someone who measures the size of his own poops

So with that Harry promised his Marvellous Highness that he’d stop measuring the size of his own poops and stop with immediate effect.

When someone with a poop fetish tells you they’ll stop, nine times out of ten, the motherfucker is lie-telling. Big time.

Not long after this Meghan noticed that whenever Harry heard the word poop his pupils would begin to dilate and his heart would start racing.

Understandably Meghan was so worried about this that she took Harry to see a physiatrist.

While Harry confessed to the physiatrist that he may have trouble understanding who his real father is he totally denied that he was infatuated with anything else…. including the size of his own poop.

However, Harry refused to allow any kind of tests to be performed on him. He was basically freaking out.

The psychiatrist kept questioning Harry about his poop fetish but he wasn’t getting any answers from the royal loonie-tune.

So, when Marvellous Markle showed him the latest message she’d found in her loo (picture below) the psychiatrist knew that Harry had a problem….

In order to learn more the psychiatrist decided to call up NMi’s Royal insider. He explained how Harry had once licked up a whole plate of poop which was being served at a Royal dinner party. 

He went on to explain that since there is no law in the UK requiring a media person to report such incidents to the public there was nothing further that could be done. He also warned the psychiatrist that doing so could also result in dire consequences.

However, the psychiatrist was worried that this Royal poop fetish could cause an epidemic!

He thought first, China creates a global pandemic and now this?! The people of the world are in trouble and I need to help them!  

So Harry’s psychiatrist spoke to Jo Biden’s chief medical advisor – Dr. Anthony Fauci.

Here’s what happened next:

Psychiatrist: Is there a vaccine we can develop for people with poop fetishes?

Fauci: Yes, we’ve already got one. It’s being distributed across the USA right now. The US FDA granted Pfizer-BioNTech an emergency use authorisation (EUA) for this vaccine in mid-December 2020.

Psychiatrist: Really? What is it?

Fauci: The Corvid-19 vaccine.

Johnny of Pil says the Public Image is Rotton. He would therefore like to dedicate this song to Michael W.

Author: Michael W