In their mind numbing interview with Oprah last weekend Prince Harry and Meghan Markle described their official escape from royal life.

However, they both neglected to mention one very important detail about their future lives together.


In the interview neither Harry nor Meghan mentioned how they intended to earn an un-royal crust.

But wait, there’s more news!

NMi can now exclusively reveal how Harry and Meghan’s expulsion from royal duties could actually make them hundreds of millions of pounds.

That’s right everyone, Meghan is now going back to work, her office space awaits her and it’s not on the balcony of Buckingham Palace.

Meghan is going to work – Why?

For those hoping that these two soon-to-be illegal immigrants will end up destitute in a dingy bedsit in Brixton, with Harry dancing for dosh as the only ginger go-go queen in Soho, then you’re (sadly) out of luck. 

Why? Because Meghan is about to launch a unique ‘royal’ range of under-pantie body sprays. And she’ll soon be working her wobbly duck ass off marketing them.

So what are Meghan’s ‘royal smellies’ and what inspired her to create them?

Well, funnily enough Meghan was inspired by her father-in-law, Prince Charles.

Do you remember the biggest royal scandal of all time? The one when Prince Charles told Camilla that he wanted to be her Tampax?

How could we forget!

Well, that’s the very scandal which has inspired Meghan to launch her royal range of scents – for lady-parts!

Meghan is also convinced that her range will provide the lady-public with an insight into what a Royal unmentionable smells like.

She intends to name her line of Royal aromas – A Big Royal Smell – A Small Royal Smell and The Queen’s Nasty Bit Smells.

Because Meghan doesn’t want to be associated with the public’s pubics for the rest of her life she will be recommending that ladies should scent their coochies for health reasons.

In terms of marketing, and if Murk Sucaturd and Quack Boresme allow it, then Marvellous Markle will begin publicising her Royal Smellies on Facist Book and Twatter later this year.

Below are some of the campaign photos.

And here’s the video which will be going alongside Meghan’s marketing campaign.

A royal source says that Meghan Smells will be officially launched this summer.

Meanwhile disgruntled Brother Willie has slapped his laptop lid down on the entire thing. No former commoners here, thank you.

Author: Michael W