Two reporters at The Washington Post, are claiming that former President Donald Trump could soon be “broke and in jail” due to the civil and criminal cases which he is now facing.

They have noted Trump’s penchant for escaping the law, but they have suggested he might not be able to this time.

Apparently while examining Trump’s business dealings (looking for possible crimes – such as tax and bank fraud) Manhattan District Attorney Cyrus Vance Jr. has recently acquired Trump’s tax returns.

These are the very tax returns which were so elusive during his presidency.

Should Mr Vance find any ‘porkie pies’ in those filings then it could result in Trump’s imprisonment.

But There’s More!

And by ‘more’ we mean Satan’s favourite little tongue-scraper, Ghislaine Maxwell.

Currently, Ghislaine Maxwell is awaiting trial for child sex-trafficking and is being held at the Metropolitan Detention Centre in Brooklyn, where she is making sad faces about the sub-standard food, her yellow stained water rations and the stress-related condition of her hair.

However back in 2020 after Ghislaine first began sweeping clumps of her runaway pubic hair off the cell floor, she sat down and had a thoughtful discussion with her own devious mind.

During the discussion Ghislaine remembered the existence of the secret sex tapes of Donald Trump, which had been recorded by her former partner in slime, sex trafficking child romper, Jeffrey Epstein.

Ghislaine knew that Epstein had never disclosed the location of these tapes, but her devious mind knew the gravity of what would happen (to Donald Trump) if the media should ever discover them.

Ghislaine had a decision to make. After all she had to her soggy bottie out of that jail by any means possible!

Option One

Would Donald Trump would be willing to share the mangy, vagina haired wig he wears on his head in exchange for those tapes never surfacing?

Option Two

Ghislaine knew that in his last week in office the ginger Don would be giving out some messy parting gifts to his “friends, aka presidential pardons.

Would Donald Trump be willing to include her on the list of criminal back-handers in exchange for those tapes never surfacing?

The Decision

Ghislaine’s devious mind told her to go for Option Two.

She realised that getting Donald to add her name to the list of pardoned souls just before his vagina haired wig was about to hit the oval office floor would be sure to piss of lot of people off.

But hey, it’s worth a try.

And that was when Ghislaine leant on her CAPS LOCK key and sent the ginger minger a message saying:

WHERE WE GO ONE WE GO ALL  

Unfortunately for Ghislaine when Donald recieved Ghislaine’s message (and all that it implied) he responded as only a human melatonin pill could.

Here’s his reply:

I only tell you this once. Don’t fuck me, Ghislane. Don’t you ever try to fuck me!

(Yes, I know – Scarface.)

So. Here we are left in a Netflix style What Will Happen Next scenario.

Will Ghislaine remain in prison while a Manhattan District Attorney looks for imprisonable offences to throw at the Don?

Watch this space…..

Author: Michael W