As her life crawls inexorably towards a facist dictatorship, Britain’s Home Secretary, Priti Patel has joined more than a million people in the UK who’ve had a tiny prick.

However Priti must look wistfully at the her out-of-reality life and think, 


Yeah, it’s what everyone’s thinking right now!

Call me a tinfoil hat-wearing conspiracy theorist, but I think I know why the Cabinet high priestess (and expert curry maker) might be thinking like that.

The above picture is your clue.

Meanwhile former shadow public health minister, Diane Abbot has said she won’t be taking the vaccine, but she did claim that it was 7% effective. (she meant 70%)

Besides, Diane is already a 90% pug so what would be the point?

But what happens next for our vapid Tory vampire?

I think that Priti Patel would really like to get back to the simple things in her life. Like reading children’s books, marinating her tongue in Tabasco sauce and helping the needy to find shop doorways to sleep in. 

Author: Michael W