What would you think if I told you that Diane Abbot had a third breast?

Ok then, prepare yourself for the wildest of titillating tales about Labour’s lump of poop-scented devil spawn.

An NMi insider has revealed that back in 2015, Diane Abbot had reconstructive surgery to remove a third breast which had started to grow out of her forehead.

However, when she woke up after the surgery, Diane noticed that she had ‘bigger boobs’. 

Yes, the surgeon had given her breast implants without her consent!

See below:

And yes, I can hear you thinking:

No! Why did you have to tell us THAT tale? Couldn’t you find a funny story about Dianne getting food poisoning from a cheeseburger or something?

I know, this is what happens when a writer takes too many wild pills. Really, listen to Pink telling us what happened to Alice.

Author: Michael W.